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smoke against the windowpane, just the semis breathing on the interstate
a gray upon the graying of october
hey honey it’s been so long, i got so lost, so far down
the tracks of an old abandoned rollercoaster
see the wheels fell off, and the rails all rusted over
i remember you that night, in the noisy bar, in the yellow light
the radiating heat between our shoulders
and i know good things never last, yeah i know that now but i didn’t then
and i let you lead me blind around the corner
but sometimes still at night i dream, an empty bottle in the alleyway
on a night so clear a billion stars are born
and each one is a world i guess, of dust and flame and wishes cast
by lovers hoping love will last til morning
we tried a while to make it good, you hid the cans, i played the fool
you got some work, i got sick in the mornings
but you lost that job, and we got kicked out
hey babe, ain’t nothing to cry about
and you said you’d send some cash from california
now i got work, down the street, cleaning rooms at the super 8
sometimes i take the path home by the river
i wonder what our daughter’s like, yeah i hope that family treats her right
and gives her all the things we couldn’t give her
now a dream is all that’s left of you, i guess some folks are born to lose
some kids are born for someone else’s cradle
and the days go by, i get along, the air grows cool and the leaves fall
and the smoke it moves and fades against the window
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Turn out the light, let’s be still for awhile
Let the wind blow in with the rain
A change in the season, a tangle of sheets
And the heat pipe half broken again
I watch you watching, the headlights, you’re lost in
A country i cannot find
They pass on the ceiling, a strobe in slow motion
Alive in the cracks of the blinds
Maybe it’s time we left, Minneapolis
A cloud of dust, and we could just be gone
Something lost and something won
Try to remember, the heat of the summer
The salt and the steam on the road
Driving for hours to sit at the water
Make love on a pile of our clothes
But something has shifted, a wind in the branches
The cold coming in like a drug
Curled like two questions, a couple of dancers
Alone in our separate thoughts
Maybe it’s time we left, Minneapolis
A cloud of dust, and we could just be gone
Something lost and something won
Something lost and something won
Maybe it’s time we left, Minneapolis
A cloud of dust, and we could just be gone
Something lost and something won
Something lost and something won
Something lost and something won
Disappearing, now we’re gone
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Underneath the heavy sky, the highway shines
A razor blade cutting down to bone
Nothing left to do but hold the wheel and drive
The dark of night, the dim light on the road
All the way from Illinois, a thousand miles of waiting for
A gentle touch, a kind, believing word
All the way from Illinois, and not one to be heard
Tell me all the ways to make a day go by
In an aeroplane high above the earth
Or standing in the kitchen in an awful fight
The brightly colored blood of ugly words
All the way from illinois, a box of clothes, a can of oil
The promise of a place to settle down
All the way from illinois, and not one to be found
And nothing hurts like crying on a long drive home
Nothing worse than hiding in the dark alone
From the beautiful lights of a dangerous love
Shattered glass, a photograph of a broken heart
A crack along the windshield of the world
The shape of something running in the untame dark
The howling out of freedom and of hurt
All the way from Illinois, the radio, the rain, the road
The dream of finding out just what is love
All the way from Illinois, and turns out nothing was
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i am a mission bell, ringing in the dark
gonna scare these crows, go tuck their heads in someone else’s yard
i got a heavy load, gonna lay it out
so if god ain’t home please tell me now before i kneel down
i am a liar’s game, i am a shorted fuse
i am the dirty water in the wishing well, and the coins you threw
i am a wrecking ball, i am a fighting chance
i am alive, that’s all that keeps me sometimes breathing
i am an oil spill, beautiful and not
i am the orange glow of the sun and the hill, i am one last shot
i am the asphalt kid, ruling the yellow lines
f you’re trying to kill me gonna have to give it a harder try
i am a holy ghost, i am a pounding heart
i am an easy lover, even when this loving gets so damn hard
i am asleep i guess, until you come for me
out in the wilderness, in the dark i am lost, but i am almost free
i am a fighting chance, i am a wrecking ball, i am a pounding heart, i am alive that’s all
i am the water’s edge, i am the deepest end
i want a thousand things to be one more than a thousand
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Two dark horses just appearing, early morning fog
Breath like engines overheating, rising up and gone
Holy light across the pasture, barbed wire fences built to trap them
Two dark horses running faster, than they’ve ever run
Two dark horses, sweating, leaning, thunderous and wild
Flanked in low mist slowly leaving, red sun on the rise
Scars where darker forces whipped them, filled their mouths with blood and bit them
Two dark horses flying, lifting, weightless just this once
two dark horses, hallelujah, watch them disappear
powerful as dancers moving, low against the air
Thunder on the black horizon, rolling wild electric skyline
two dark horses, storm behind them, freedom finally come
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6. |
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I came to see the flower stands, the vegetables, the cigarettes
the subway station bucket man, the headphones and the heat
I thought that I might try again, the living and the breathing
but the living and the breathing don't come easy
I used to be a waste of time, an empty bottle lying down
a trap door with the latches gone, hanging by a hinge
Now I guess I'm something else, a raven on an overpass
a wanderer, a silver ghost, a beacon
Before, I saw it everywhere, in car windows, the guarded stare
the hollow eyes, the hunted fear, I had to look away
I thought that I might lose my breath, the living and the coming death
the living and the aftermath, the fade
I used to be a waste of time, a burning match lit underground
a figure in the shadowland , a feather in a cage
Now I hope I’m something else, a blinding flash, a fragment spell
a bird released from some old bell, escaping
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the paper sits upon the step, the messenger already gone
and lillian sits next to it, and looks across the coming dawn
the type is bold enough to read, for eyes so tired and set with time
and lillian cannot believe, the photograph and bold headline
she leaves the step and lights the stove, she heats the kettle cracks the eggs
and from the porch the paper blows, it lifts and weaves and floats away
and lillian, she smoothes her hair, she sits to rest her aching feet
and up the old and oaken stairs, martha stirs and leaves a dream
she reaches out across the bed, finds the sheets are tucked and cold
she calls aloud for lillian, her heart it beats and strains and slows
and lillian, she climbs the stairs, she hears her martha’s ragged breath
she lies beside her calms her fear, it’s alright darling you can rest
and long they lay there side by side, the breath of two becomes the one
and down the street the photo flies, of martha and of lillian
and now the town it slowly wakes, unrolls the paper, sits to read
the news it travels cross the state, of hearts that struggle to be free
and from the front in love and tears, lillian and martha wave
the courthouse after fifty years, on their long awaited wedding day
beyond the step the day begins, the heat it rises from the road
and down the stair comes lillian, a promise kept, a band of gold
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monday morning sidewalk man, sits back to watch the show
the rebar and the wet cement, transistor radio
he takes a pull from a paper bag, across the street on an old park bench
the big machines and rolled blueprints, stir something in his soul
a memory comes winding through the ruin of his mind
the hardhats and the heavy boots, the nail gun’s ringing whine
a jungle with the same sharp sound, his brothers falling all around
they built them up, just to tear them down, and left him half alive
someday i’m gonna laugh about it, looking down from heaven’s golden plain
but for now i found some peace down by the water, just to watch a building rise up in the rain
he waits each day til evening comes, the men all drive away
the echo of their hammers linger, voices slowly fade
the lights along the path come on, the scaffolding a skeleton
All the things he dreamed and then forgot, the promises he made
someday i’m gonna laugh about it, looking down from heaven’s golden plain
but for now i found some peace down by the water, just to watch a building rise up in the rain
and the moon shines on the river like a dream, and he smokes a cigarette and falls asleep
and the wind it wanders slow through empty rooms without their walls
and a silence settles over everything
and from the ground it rises up, a riverside hotel
the sidewalk man, he comes to watch near every day until
the ribbon cut and the curtains hung, the reservations filled and gone
and the owner tells him move along, go linger somewhere else
someday i’m gonna laugh about it, looking down from heaven’s golden plain
but for now i found some peace down by the water, just to watch a building rise up in the rain
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there’s a shine to a night like this
to the way your body moves
and the lines of your silhouette
and the rise of your fragile bones
and the lift of the whispered wind
and a song that you never heard
and you’re riding on silver wings
and you’re leaving the blue world
and the bells of the mission ring
and the bricks bring an echo back
there’s a glow and it’s covering
everything in its gentle path
and you dreamed of a night like this
and the call of a fallen bird
and the beauty of it all is
that you’re leaving the blue world
and no one to call your name
and no one to bring a rose
and you come to the heavy gate
and you open it all alone
and a wild magnolia blooms
on the damp uncovered earth
and the twist of the tangled roots
and you’re leaving the blue world
and you rise like an ember caught
in the smoke of a single flame
like the candle a lover brought
just to light a beloved face
there’s a shine to a night like this
and the stars never fell so near
and your soul like a golden gift
and it rises and disappears
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February/2021. We pulled the heavy nets in and struggled to keep water from filling our separate boats. We watched each other from windows. Wrote letters. Talked on the phone. Floundered. Lost. Found new ways to love.
I kept craving the sound of the piano. Something warm and resonant to cure the vast empty. The bar closing and no one left but a wine drunk musician still wandering through the heart’s landscape. And the bartender cleaning up, stacking glasses and balancing the till.
Two good friends agreed to dream up the sounds, Galen Clark hunched behind the keys like some masked conjurer, and Micah Hummel at the drums with bottle caps, silverware, and space. I closed my eyes and imagined each scene in color as I sang. We wanted it to be close up and real. A soft place for the stories to land. It was like medicine to be in a room together. We hope it takes you someplace.
There are songs from each album here, chosen by story and feel in Galen’s basement and reimagined for hours on end in our coats and masks. We wanted them sparse and strange, isolated and alive. Each of these songs exists in another form, from another time when making music shoulder to shoulder in goodsweaty rooms was an everyday adventure. This project felt like breathing again, a chance to be together, listening and expressing something with good friends whose music forever moves me.
